Book clip "The Murderer WithIn"

Sitting at the dining room table she stared blankly into the glass of water sitting in front of her. The police continued to collect evidence in the living room. Without listening she heard the camera snapping, the detectives talking and asking each other questions. All the movement in the house seemed like a nightmare, never ending.

When the detective came into the dining room he asked, “Ms. Holt is there anything else you can tell us? Did you hear anything or see anyone?”

Unable to speak Alexa just shook her head mouthing the word “No”.

The coroner finally arrived to examine the body and prep it for transport. The coroner called out to the detective; he excuses himself and headed towards the coroner. She turned her head and watched the exchange between the coroner and detective Cole.

Detective Cole turned his head and looked back at Alexa. She refused to look away as he stared her down. The detective turned his look back to the coroner and Drake’s body. The coroner knelt down, pointing out things. Unable to hear the words he said, but sure he described the cut in the throat, the appeared depth, and possible type of weapon or knife. She heard him say the time of death was undetermined until he could get the body back to the office.

Her mind wondered back recalling what she’d seen in her last moments with Drake, Alexa had wondered herself what type of knife did damage in such a way, without it being a cut across the neck. She saw only a single stab to the throat as she knelt over him applying pressure to stop the bleeding. As she looked into his eyes, and watched as his life faded, whispering how much she loved him and vowing to find his killer.

He looked at her, but more through her as the light in his eyes went out and he exhaled for the last time. She sobbed heavily as the operator finally answered the phone, “This is 911, what is your emergency?”

When she looked up detective Cole stood in front of her. She looked around realizing she’d gotten up from the table and walked into the living room and again was kneeling next to Drake’s body. Detective Cole held out his hand to her, she reached up and allowed him to help her up and he walked her back to the dining room table.

As she sat down she apologized for interrupting the coroner. Detective Cole only nodded his head as he turned to head back into the living room. She watched him walk away as tears burned her eyes and streamed down her face. Her worst nightmare had come true. She’d found her true love and now he’s gone, taken from her.

For her time stood still, but the activity in the house started to come to a close. The coroner took Drake’s body and the rest of the officers finished up the collection of evidence. Leaving different marks all around the room of blood marks and the one over turned table, she assumed knocked over by Drake as he fell.

Closing the door behind the last officer she turned and fell back against the door as she looked blankly through the entryway. The house was eerily quiet and cold. The home she had known no longer felt warm and safe. Her legs weakening under her as the sorrow over took her, she sunk to the floor sobbing and wrapping her own arms around herself as she let the overwhelming urge to cry take over.

Alexa woke to the sound of birds chirping, the sounds of cars passing on the street and people talking and laughing. Crumpled on the floor still at the front door she sat up, rested her head against the door thinking to herself, with the burn of sorrow in her chest, “Life continues for them, but for me it is over.”

A knock at the door made her jump. Struggling slightly she pulled herself to her feet, turned and faced the door as she opened it. There stood a messenger with a box, Alexa looked confused as the man began to speak, “I am sorry to bother you ma’am but your neighbor doesn’t seem to be at home and I can’t leave this at the door. May I leave it with you?”

Alexa nodded her head and held out her hand to take the box from the messenger. Her appearance unnerved the man as he asked with urgency, “Ma’am are you all right? Do you need me to call for help?”

Realizing she hadn’t spoken and was still covered in Drake’s blood. She shook her head as she quietly responded, “No thank you. The police have already been here.”

The messenger nodded and handed her the box as he turned and left. Alexa closed the door and set the box down on the floor next to the door. Turning to face the interior of the house again, Alexa hesitated as she took the first step towards the kitchen. She acknowledged to herself, she needed to pass the living room entry to get there. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to take a second and third step as she got closer to the opening leading to the living room the harder she found it to breath.

Stopping just short of the opening she told herself she needed to do this to make it to the kitchen, it was only a few more steps beyond where she stood. Feeling like her body was filling with concrete slowing stiffening and her breathing becoming more labored and heavy. She slowly took the next few steps taking her past the living room. She refused to look into the room as she passed the opening. She felt her body working against her as her eyes started to stray to look to the left into the room.

Mastering her will she kept her focus straight and steady in the direction she was walking. Making it past the living room she released a sigh of relief, feeling the small victory she was able to walk and breathe a little bit easier. The farther past the living room opening her steps got lighter and closer to normal, her stride lengthened and her breathing evened out and became less labor intensive.

Reaching the kitchen she went straight for the sink as nausea took hold, but since she’d not eaten anything in over 24 hours nothing in her stomach but bile. She dry heaved for a few minutes when the bile started to leave her body like an exorcism being enacted.

Leaning almost laying across the edge of the sink her body shook violently from the vomiting. Clinging to the sink to hold herself up she waited for her body to stop shaking. Turning on the faucet she used her hand to cup water to her mouth. Sipping slowly as the cool water burned as it passed over her cracked dry lips, but bringing soothing coolness to her burning throat.

The sea of nausea passed and gaining some control of her body again she stood up, still holding on to the sink for stability. She gazed out the window over the sink into the back yard. The trees showed a brilliant green, with a slight breeze rustling the leaves. As she watched the leaves dance on the wind, it seemed almost as if they were waving at her through the window.

Blinking once or twice she looked away as she realized she’d heard the door bell ringing for the second time this morning. Unable to deal with another interaction she moved towards the stairs and headed up to her room. Feeling the need to get out of the clothing she wore still covered in Drake’s blood.

Stripping as she moved across the bedroom, dropping a single piece of clothing with every step, as she made her way to the bathroom. By the time she reached the bathroom she was naked, she went straight for the shower refusing to look at herself in the mirror. Setting the temp of the water as hot as she could stand, she stepped in and let the steam and heat of the water envelope her naked body as the water ran down rinsing away the horror of the night before.

As the water hit her body her skin began to turn pink from the heat of the water. It pelted her skin like tiny spears, with each connection stinging like a bee. But she stood allowing the abuse to her body, feeling the need for the punishment. Leaning her head back under the water to wet her hair; she began to wash away the blood and dirt from the day before. She gave into the sensation of the water rinsing the soap away; virtually wiping the slate clean for a fresh start, allowing the skin to breathe again.

Turning off the water she stood behind the curtain, reaching up she ran her hands over and down her hair squeezing the excess water out. Opening the curtain she grabbed the first towel she could reach, as she brought the towel to her face, she caught his sent. Unable to stop herself she buried her face deep into the towel inhaling deeply. The combination of the ivory soap, the light scent of vanilla from his shampoo, and the faint scent of his cologne cloaked her.

Wiping her face she took the towel and wrapped it around herself and stepped out of the shower. The steam consumed the bathroom like a fog, as she walked to the sink still refusing to look in the mirror, she looked at the items on the counter, locating it, she reached out and picked up Drake’s toothbrush, turning on the faucet, she let the water run over the bristles. Then she picked up his tooth paste, squeezing out just enough to cover the bristles, putting it back under the running water to dampen the paste. She brought it to her mouth she began to brush her teeth.

Finishing she rinsed the brush and tapped it on the side of the sink to get the extra water out of the bristles. She placed it back in its spot the way Drake always did. Next she reached for his cologne and splashed a small amount onto her wrists. Placing it back just as she’d found it; she turned and left the bathroom.

Moving across the bedroom she went straight to his closet, stepping in she ran her hand along his hanging shirts and pants. As they moved his scent floated through the air and encompassed her giving her the feeling of one last hug. Closing her eyes she felt his arms gently wrap around her. Opening her eyes she grabbed her favorite of his shirts and put it on.

Leaving his closet she went straight for the bed, climbed in and pulled the covers up over her head.